Is it even possible to forgive an unfaithful spouse and restore a broken marriage? Oftentimes, when you are at the receiving end of a betrayal, you will find it hard to imagine doing this. Or if you are the one who was unfaithful to your spouse, you may not even hope for any forgiveness, even less for restoration.
God, however, wants marriages to be restored and become whole again. Through His help, it is possible to forgive and have restoration if both partners are willing to take the steps. He can even make the relationship stronger because He mends broken things.
It all begins with the willingness to forgive. The couple should help each other to overcome the hurts and sufferings that the infidelity caused in their relationship. They shouldn’t be overly suspicious of the other. It is important to go to marriage counseling or a support group who will guide them through the process of reconciliation.
The process will not be an easy one. There would be negative thoughts and emotions that each couple must battle and subject to the power of God’s healing. Trust must be rebuilt over time. Most importantly, they must continue to seek the presence of God in their restored marriage. Everything is possible, if they will put their trust and relationship in God’s hands.
- If you are the one betrayed, do not blame yourself. Your spouse made the choice and it is beyond your control. It is normal for you to cry and feel the pain because of what happened.
- If you are the unfaithful one, have a contrite heart. Seek the forgiveness of your spouse. Show and prove that you are sincere in changing your ways.
- Continue to pray for God’s restoration of your marriage.
- Focus on what is good about your relationship. Be responsible about changing yourself. Listen to and empathize with your partner.
- Be willing to seek professional help from someone who has training and experience working with troubled marriages.
- Renew your mindset and change the way you relate to your partner.
- Avoid bringing up the same mistakes and thoughts that would hurt your or your partner’s feelings.
- Heart Line Counselors of Back to the Bible Radio:http://www.backtothebible.org.ph/heart_02.html
- Marriage Encounter: Building Better Marriages for Life :www.agme.org
- Christian Marriage : preaching and teaching Biblical marriage :www.christianmarriage.com
- Restoring Christ to Counseling and Counseling to the Church :www.ccef.org
- How to Keep you Husband Happy / How to Keep you Wife Happy by William Orr
- The Honeymoon Never Ends by Nelson T. Dy
- Happily Married for Life by Larry Koenig
- Strength in weakness : healing Sexual and relational brokenness by Andrew Comiskey
- How God Will Restore Your Marriage: There’s Healing After Broken Vows by Erin Thiele
- Divorce is not legally allowed in the Philippines. However, the Family Code provides for certain grounds to declare a marriage null and void.
- Articles 333 and 334 of the Revised Penal Code penalize a woman who has sexual relations with a man not her husband (adultery) and a man for doing the same with a woman not his wife or if he keeps a mistress (concubinage)
- Adultery is punishable by a jail term of more than 2 years to 12 years while concubinage is from 6 months and one day to 2 years and 4 months.
- The number of divorced/separated Filipinos doubled between 1980 and 2000. (NSCB 2010)
- The proportion of women 15-49 years of age who are no longer living with their spouse almost doubled between 1993 and 2008, from less than 2 per hundred to 3 per hundred. (NSCB 2010)