Pre-marital Sex

Words are often used so you would agree to premarital sex. But is it the ultimate expression of love?

“My dear, if you love me, you would want to do this with me. This is an expression of our love.” These words are often used so that you would agree to premarital sex. But is having sex the ultimate expression of love? Our society often promotes various lies about relationships. Having sex outside of marriage is often justified with the following:


  • you just want to enjoy your time together,
  • you’re getting married anyway so why wait,
  • you want to test if you are compatible before committing,
  • you use protection so as not to get pregnant,
  • you don’t have the budget to marry yet, and many more.


Remember though that sex was given by God. It is meant to be enjoyed within the bounds of marriage and as a means to procreate. Practiced outside of marriage, it is a total disobedience of God’s command and is a SIN. If pursued, there are often lifetime consequences physically (pregnancy), emotionally (guilt, distrust, broken hearts), and relationally (broken relationships, single parenting).

If you are in a relationship, avoid being in situations of temptation. Some have used the excuse that it just happened. It is possible to show your love in ways that are pleasing to God. Ultimately, it is expressed through the commitment of marriage.

If all this does not convince you, remember what is written in the Scriptures. Our body is the temple of God. We are commanded to keep it holy and pure. Choose to say no to premarital sex and choose to honor God.

  • Remind yourself that sex was created by God to be enjoyed within the bounds of marriage.
  • Avoid being alone with the opposite sex, especially in questionable places.
  • Be accountable to someone. Join a True Love Waits covenant or have a support group that can help you be pure and holy.
  • Know that if your partner really loves you, he/she would wait to have sex until your wedding day.
  • Avoid people who give you unsound advice. Refer to the Bible and to godly people about issues on sex and love.
  • Single people must practice self control and must not take risks regarding physical relations. Otherwise, get married.
  • If you have had premarital sex, God is merciful and will forgive you. From this day forward, refrain from practicing it.
  • 33.2% of men agree that it is alright for unmarried people to live together even if they have no plans to marry (against 10.8% of women). (NSCB 2008)
  • Around 15.9% of women indicated they have done PMS compared to 31.2% men. (NSCB 2008)
  • Only 8.4% of men approve of a woman having PMS (15.8% of women) while it is almost the same number of men and women who approve of a man having PMS (27.2% and 26.1% respectively).
  • Engagement in PMS was highest for Metro Manila male youth (41.8%) and lowest for youth in Cagayan Valley (18.4%) while it was highest for Eastern Visayas female youth (22.9%) and lowest in ARMM female youth (3%). (NSCB 2008)
  • A study done as part of the YAFS 3 Working Paper Series reveals the following: a) Some of those who formally married have cohabited prior to the wedding; b) Of those who were married in 1994 (26%), 47% were in live-in arrangement before the formal marriage. This proportion increased to 54% in 2002.  (NSCB 2008)
  • Only 4% of women approve of a woman having an abortion in comparison with 33.2% of men (NSCB 2010)
  • Based on a 2002 Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Study by the University of the Philippines Population Institute (UPPI) and the Demographic Research and Development Foundation, 26% of Filipino youth from ages 15 to 25 admitted to having had a premarital sex experience, while 38% were already in a live-in arrangement.
Watch how a couple struggles to start their marriage out right. Find out how you can build a foundation for a strong marriage that will stand the test of time. Lemuel & Rose Engcoy, experienced premarital counselors, give advice on how to put together a marriage and a love that lasts!