Finding the Right Partner

How do we find the right lifetime partner?

“Will you marry me?”

Men, don’t you dream of saying those words to your beautiful princess? And ladies, of hearing them from your prince charming? Ah, love… what the word conjures up in our minds. Beautiful sunsets, romantic dinners, holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes and finally living happily ever after. If only it was that easy to meet the “one.”

So how do we find the right lifetime partner? Go out on a lot of dates until we find the perfect mate? What are the important qualities to look for? When do we know that it is the right time to marry? So many questions come up when faced with the second most important decision we have to make in our life.

Remember that marriage is God’s idea. He created and instituted it when He made Adam and Eve. It is a sacred union between a man and a woman. Thus, it is very important that we seek Him in this matter (for everything, in fact). Keep in mind what marriage means. It is living with a totally different person for a lifetime. Consider if the other person shares your faith, beliefs, priorities, and direction in life. Take into account if he/she would be a responsible spouse and a good parent to your future kids. Seek the guidance of your parents and friends. They can provide you with an objective view of the person and the relationship.

For all of those who are waiting, take note of what was written in Songs of Solomon: do not awaken feelings unless they are ready. Be contented with your current situation. Being single is a beautiful phase in life so it should be enjoyed while trusting God to bring the right person at the right time.

  • Enjoy your single stage and friendships until you get married.
  • Start with friendship so that you can get to know each other better.
  • Ascertain that you are compatible and have the same beliefs and priorities.
  • Follow both the heart (attraction) and mind (commitment).
  • Seek the advice of your parents and friends.
  • Consult God and be guided by His Word before making any kind of decision.
  • I Kissed Dating Goodbye / Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris
  • Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Eliott.
  • There are more single men (23.2%) than single women (20.6%). (NSCB, 2008)
  • Among women of 35-49 years old, about 6 out of 100 have never been married.
  • The number of divorced/separated Pinoys doubled between 1980 and 2000! The proportion of women 15-49 years of age who are no longer living with their spouse almost doubled between 1993 and 2008, from less than 2 per hundred to 3 per hundred.
  • Four out of 100 Pinoys are in a common law/ live-in arrangement. Among women of 15 to 49 years of age, this number more than doubled between 1993 and 2008 (from 5 out of 100 to 11 out of 100). (NSCB, 2008)
  • The median age of women at first marriage has gone up from 22.3 years in 1993 to 23.2 years in 2008 for urban women, and from 20.7 years in 1993 to 21.0 years in 2008 for rural women.
How do we find the right one for us? Is it in frequent dating? Or do we need to pray for God’s will about this? Watch the story of friends who have different views on how to find the right partner.