“…in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part”… you probably said these words or something similar in your vows when you married your spouse. Certainly, you both meant what you said. However, marriage is often attacked by trials and temptations. We have to be proactive to keep the family intact.
How to do this? Early in your marriage, understand your roles and responsibilities. Be sensitive about each others needs, including the physical and emotional aspects of your relationship. Resolve any issues, big or small, as soon as possible (before sunset, according to the Bible). Sometimes, the little hurts and misunderstandings become the seed of discontent that could blow out of proportion and cause major rifts between couples.
We’ve all heard of sad and painful stories about broken marriages. Thus, decide on what to do in case each spouse encounters temptations. Make sure that you do not form any emotional attachment with people of the opposite sex. Remember that marital affairs do not start with the intention of destroying the family. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it and thus, be wise. Having mentors and a support group could also shield you from marital unfaithfulness.
Marriage is a covenant between you, your spouse and God. It is necessary then to keep God as the foundation of your marriage. Keep the spiritual disciplines of praying and going to church together. To keep the marriage alive, make sure that you continue doing the things you enjoy doing together.
- To maintain a happy marriage, place it on a firm foundation of faith in Jesus Christ. Always pray and read the Scriptures together.
- Use kind words toward each other. Appreciate your spouse by doing things he/she is fond of.
- Make sure to spend at least one date a week for yourselves. This will keep the spark alive.
- Remember that having a happy marriage requires a lot of hard work for both you. This includes being patient, spending time together, being grateful towards each other.
- At the beginning of marriage, decide on what to do when each of you are placed in difficult situations with other people. Avoid relationships that could be destructive.
- Make it a point for thoughts to be pure and holy and to work out small problems right away before
- Be observant of your spouse’s feelings and activities. Look for signs of “drifting away” and rectify the situation if it is happening.
- Seek mentors and accountability partners for your marriage.
- Marriage Encounter: Building Better Marriages for Life : www.agme.org
- Christian Marriage : preaching and teaching Biblical marriage : www.christianmarriage.com
- 10 Principles for a Happy Marriage by Selwyn Hughes
- Connecting: 52 Guidelines for Making Marriage Work by Harold J. Sala
- His Needs, Her Needs by William F. Harley
- The Joy of Marriage God’s Way by various authors including Beverly LaHaye
- Love, Sex and Marriage by Evelyn Miranda-Feliciano
- Ten Commandments for Husbands and Wives by Dr. Harold J. Sala
- To Have and To Hold: The Lifestyle for a Happy Marriage by William B. Girao
- Love Must be Tough by James Dobson
- Making Marriage Work by Dr. Harold J. Sala
- The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
- Divorce is not legally allowed in the Philippines. However, the Family Code provides for certain grounds to annul a marriage or declare it null and void.
- Articles 333 and 334 of the Revised Penal Code penalize a woman who has sexual relations with a man not her husband (adultery) and a man for doing the same with a woman not his wife or if he keeps a mistress (concubinage) .
- Adultery is punishable by a jail term of more than 2 years to 12 years while concubinage is from 6 months and one day to 2 years and 4 months.
- The proportion of married men engaging in extra marital sex is 36% compared to 2% of women (Gonzales 2003)
- Around 18% of our youth agree to engage in ‘live-in’ arrangements with no plan to marry (NSCB 2008)
- Around 24% of young people approve of women having the pre-marital sex (PMS). Around 37.2% of youth approve of men having PMS (NSCB 2008)
- The number of divorced/separated Pinoys doubled between 1980 and 2000. (NSCB 2010)
- Four out of 100 Pinoys are in a common law/ live-in arrangement. (NSCB 2010)
- Among women 15 to 49 years of age, the proportion of those living together more than doubled between 1993 and 2008, from 5 out of 100 to 11 out of 100. (NSCB 2010)
In this video, watch how a young couple tries to keep their relationship strong. Find out how to avoid the temptation that can tear your family apart. Ptr. Clem Guillermo, a noted Christian Family Counselor, gives advice on how to achieve the marital relationship you want. Learn how to prevent marital unfaithfulness.